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Mickey and Minnie
Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Celebrity Jokes
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court.
The judge said, "Mickey, I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane."
Mickey said, "I didn't say she was insane, I said she was fucking Goofy!"
The judge said, "Mickey, I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane."
Mickey said, "I didn't say she was insane, I said she was fucking Goofy!"
The 7 dwarves in Rome
Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Celebrity Jokes, Religious Jokes
The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city. After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the Pope. Grumpy, for once, seems to have a lot to say; he keeps asking the pontiff questions about the church, and in particular the nuns.
"Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?"
"No, my son, all our nuns are at least 1,70 meters tall."
"Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?"
"I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?"
"No reason" (pause) "Positive? Nobody in a dark suit who is about 75-90 cm tall?"
"I'm sure."
"Okay. Thanks anyway."
Grumpy looks dejected at this news, and the pope wonders why; so he listens to the dwarves as they leave the building:
"What did he say? What did he say?" chant the other six dwarves.
Grumpy says: "He said, they don't have any short nuns."
And the other six dwarves start chanting "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin! ...."
"Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?"
"No, my son, all our nuns are at least 1,70 meters tall."
"Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?"
"I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?"
"No reason" (pause) "Positive? Nobody in a dark suit who is about 75-90 cm tall?"
"I'm sure."
"Okay. Thanks anyway."
Grumpy looks dejected at this news, and the pope wonders why; so he listens to the dwarves as they leave the building:
"What did he say? What did he say?" chant the other six dwarves.
Grumpy says: "He said, they don't have any short nuns."
And the other six dwarves start chanting "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin! ...."
Pinnochio
Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Celebrity Jokes
One day Pinnochio came to Gepeto with a problem. He said, "Thanks a lot Gepeto for making me and everything, but I need advice. Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters, how can I stop this?"
"Well" said Gepeto, "Have you tried sandpaper?"
"That's a good idea", and so Pinnochio left.
A couple of weeks later Gepeto questioned Pinnochio, "How is the problem going with your girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend?" ,said Pinnochio, "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"
"Well" said Gepeto, "Have you tried sandpaper?"
"That's a good idea", and so Pinnochio left.
A couple of weeks later Gepeto questioned Pinnochio, "How is the problem going with your girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend?" ,said Pinnochio, "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"
Dennis Rodman
Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Celebrity Jokes
A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar.
They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room.
He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok".
She thinks that's a bit odd and asks him about it.
Dennis says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement."
A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg.
He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo.
Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his penis.
She jumps back with shock. "I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!"
He says, "It's cool baby, in a minute it's going to say "ADIDAS".
They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room.
He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok".
She thinks that's a bit odd and asks him about it.
Dennis says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement."
A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg.
He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo.
Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his penis.
She jumps back with shock. "I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!"
He says, "It's cool baby, in a minute it's going to say "ADIDAS".
His name was Peter
Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Celebrity JokesCinderella wanted to go to the ball one night, but she didn't have any tampons to use and she was on the rags.
Her Fairy Godmother came to the rescue and turned a pumpkin next to Cinderella's house into a tampon.
The Godmother says, "Now use the tampon, but be sure to get back home before midnight or it will turn back into a pumpkin, and that wouldn't be good." Cinderella agrees and leaves the house.
Midnight comes along...no Cinderella, 1am, 2am and 3am, still no Cinderella!
Finally, 5am rolls by and Cinderella waltzes through the door and the fairy godmother jumps up. "Where the hell have you been?"
To which Cinderella replies, "I met this amazing guy, and well, before I knew it, we got you know serious. His name was Peter... Peter..."
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