
A young blonde woman from Essex goes out drinking one night and she gets really plastered!
The next morning she rolls over and discovers there is an elephant in bed with her!
She looks at the elephant and says, "Oh no, I must have been really tight last night!"
The elephant looks at her and waves his trunk a little and says, "Only the first time."
Down in Essex, a guy was on his first date with a notoriously loose blonde slapper. She was very receptive to his foreplay after they parked, and as the petting increased he put his hand down her panties.
She seemed to be enjoying his progress, but suddenly cried, "Ouch! Your ring is hurting me!"
"Ummm..." he said a bit uncomfortably, "that's my Rolex."
An Essex girl, blonde an' all, is crossing the road, when she gets hit by an XR3.
As she is lying on the ground, the driver, Dave, rushes out of the car to see if she is alright.
"I'm so sorry luv! I just didn't see ya. Are ya OK?" he blurts out.
"Everyfink is just a blur, I can't see a fing" she says, tearfully.
Concerned, the man leans over the woman to test her eyesight. He asks, "How many fingers have I got up?"
"Ah fuckin' 'ell NO!" she screams. "Don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the waist down an all!!!"
