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Creative Defense
Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Lawyer Jokes
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled.
With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled.
With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
It turns out that Heaven isn't above Hell, but rather, Heaven
and Hell share the same plane and are separated only by a long
wooden fence.
One day, the Devil decides to throw this huge bash. Lots of bands
perform with some of the biggest names, and the Damned start
having a heck of a party. Toward the end of festivities, a big
fireball fight breaks out and, sure enough, one lands on the
fence and burns it down.
God complains to the Devil and insists that the Devil rebuild the
fence.
The Devil says, "Sure, no problem. I've got all the union leaders
over here as well as most of the building contractors."
So, the fence is rebuilt but it's three feet to one side so that
Hell has taken over three feet of Heaven. God is PO'd.
"If you don't move that fence back," yells God, "I'm gonna sue
you."
"Yeah, right," says the Devil. "Where are you gonna get a lawyer?
and Hell share the same plane and are separated only by a long
wooden fence.
One day, the Devil decides to throw this huge bash. Lots of bands
perform with some of the biggest names, and the Damned start
having a heck of a party. Toward the end of festivities, a big
fireball fight breaks out and, sure enough, one lands on the
fence and burns it down.
God complains to the Devil and insists that the Devil rebuild the
fence.
The Devil says, "Sure, no problem. I've got all the union leaders
over here as well as most of the building contractors."
So, the fence is rebuilt but it's three feet to one side so that
Hell has taken over three feet of Heaven. God is PO'd.
"If you don't move that fence back," yells God, "I'm gonna sue
you."
"Yeah, right," says the Devil. "Where are you gonna get a lawyer?
High Voltage
Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Lawyer Jokes
A lawyer walks into his client's death row cell and says, "I've got good
news, and bad news for you."
The prisoner says, "Okay. What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is that the Governor won't issue a stay of your execution."
"Oh that's terrible. What possibly could be the good news?"
"The good news is that I got your voltage reduced!"
news, and bad news for you."
The prisoner says, "Okay. What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is that the Governor won't issue a stay of your execution."
"Oh that's terrible. What possibly could be the good news?"
"The good news is that I got your voltage reduced!"
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