Deaf Genie

Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Magic Jokes
A guy walks into a pub, orders a beer, and sets a paper bag on the bar. Several beers later, the curious bartender asks what was in the bag. Without a word, the customer reached in and pulled out a miniature piano, then a small man, about a foot tall, who sat down at the piano and began to bang out rhythm and blues. "Wow, where'd you get that?" the barkeep asked. "I found a bottle," the customer explained. "When I rubbed it, a genie popped out and granted me one wish. It's right here." he said, reaching into his coat, "if you want to give it a try."

The bartender gave the bottle a rub and, sure enough, out popped a genie. "I want a million bucks," he said. Suddenly, the bar was filled with ducks, a million of them. "Hey, I said bucks, not ducks! Is this genie deaf or something?"

"Hey, friend, you don't think I actually asked for a 12-inch pianist, do you?"

Hungry Chicken

Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Animal Jokes, Magic Jokes
A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out of it followed by a harem of women and a rooster. The "party" is escorted to a table and given menus.

When it is time to order the sheik orders for himself and the harem, and also asks for a basket of apples for the rooster. The waiter thinks it a bit strange, but does as is asked, and brings the apples for the rooster.

One by one, the rooster eats all of the apples. Having noticed this, the sheik orders another basket of apples for the rooster.

Again the rooster eats all the apples.

When summoned again, the waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster.

The sheik explains: "I was in the desert one day and found a lamp. It was a bit dirty so I rubbed it to clean it."

"Just as I did, out came a Genie and granted me three wishes.

My first wish was to have an endless supply of money.

My second wish was to have many beautiful women.

And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock."

The Cat

Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Magic Jokes
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when--all of a sudden--a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.

"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."

*** POOF *** her rocking chair turns to solid gold.

"And, gee, I guess I wouldn`t mind being a young, beautiful princess."

*** POOF *** she turns into a beautiful young woman.

"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother.

Just then the old woman`s cat wanders across the porch in front of them.

"Ooh--can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.

*** POOF *** there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine.

She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear:

"Bet you`re sorry you had me neutered."

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