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In the afternoon this guy drives down a highway to visit a nearby
lake and relax. On his way to the lake one guy dressed from head
to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures him to
stop. Our guy rolls down the window. "How can I help you?"
"I am the red bastard of the asphalt, you got something to eat?"
With a smile in his face he hands one of his sandwiches to the
red dressed guy and drives away. Not even five minutes thereafter
he comes across another guy. This time the guy is dressed fully
in yellow, standing on the side and waving him to stop.
A bit irritated our guy stops, cranks down the window. "What can
I do for you?"
"I am the yellow bastard of the asphalt, you got something to
drink?" Hardly managing to smile this time he hands to the guy a
can of coke and then stomps on the pedal and takes off again. In
order to make it to the lakeside before sunset he decides to go
faster and not to stop no matter what.
To his frustration he sees another guy on the side, dressed all
in blue, making a hand signal to stop him. Not quite willing our
guy decides to stop a last time, rolls his window down and yells
to the guy, "So, let me guess, you're the blue bastard of the
asphalt and just what the hell do you wanna have?"
"Driver's license and registration, please."
lake and relax. On his way to the lake one guy dressed from head
to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures him to
stop. Our guy rolls down the window. "How can I help you?"
"I am the red bastard of the asphalt, you got something to eat?"
With a smile in his face he hands one of his sandwiches to the
red dressed guy and drives away. Not even five minutes thereafter
he comes across another guy. This time the guy is dressed fully
in yellow, standing on the side and waving him to stop.
A bit irritated our guy stops, cranks down the window. "What can
I do for you?"
"I am the yellow bastard of the asphalt, you got something to
drink?" Hardly managing to smile this time he hands to the guy a
can of coke and then stomps on the pedal and takes off again. In
order to make it to the lakeside before sunset he decides to go
faster and not to stop no matter what.
To his frustration he sees another guy on the side, dressed all
in blue, making a hand signal to stop him. Not quite willing our
guy decides to stop a last time, rolls his window down and yells
to the guy, "So, let me guess, you're the blue bastard of the
asphalt and just what the hell do you wanna have?"
"Driver's license and registration, please."
Rules for what men can and cannot wear at a pool
Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Men Jokes
1) Speedos. Speedos cannot be worn by men under the following conditions:
A. If when you look down, you can't see the color of your Speedo, you
probably should not be wearing one. No matter how manly your chest may be,
if your belly exceeds your chest, it is not arousing to women to see your
skimpy bathing suit.
B. If your belly hangs down over the top of the Speedo, you should not be
wearing one. No, women are not impressed that you can do finger acrobatics
tying up your Speedo with only one hand, as the other hand is being used to
lift up the fold of skin of your belly hanging mercilessly down over the
top of your Speedo.
C. If you have one of those penises that kind of stick straight out as
opposed to hang down, you should not be wearing one. No, women do not get
turned on by 1 and a 1/2 inches of pure male passion raging from your loins.
D. If you have a butt that is larger than most lawn chairs, skip the Speedo.
2) If you cannot wear a Speedo, and are wearing short type bathing suits, please for
the sake of all humankind, wear one with an inner shell. There is nothing less sexy
than seeing your boys hanging down as you sit in that position that only a man can do so gracelessly, so keep your boys hidden.
3) No thongs under any circumstances.
4) If you wear sandals, do not wear white knee socks.
A. If when you look down, you can't see the color of your Speedo, you
probably should not be wearing one. No matter how manly your chest may be,
if your belly exceeds your chest, it is not arousing to women to see your
skimpy bathing suit.
B. If your belly hangs down over the top of the Speedo, you should not be
wearing one. No, women are not impressed that you can do finger acrobatics
tying up your Speedo with only one hand, as the other hand is being used to
lift up the fold of skin of your belly hanging mercilessly down over the
top of your Speedo.
C. If you have one of those penises that kind of stick straight out as
opposed to hang down, you should not be wearing one. No, women do not get
turned on by 1 and a 1/2 inches of pure male passion raging from your loins.
D. If you have a butt that is larger than most lawn chairs, skip the Speedo.
2) If you cannot wear a Speedo, and are wearing short type bathing suits, please for
the sake of all humankind, wear one with an inner shell. There is nothing less sexy
than seeing your boys hanging down as you sit in that position that only a man can do so gracelessly, so keep your boys hidden.
3) No thongs under any circumstances.
4) If you wear sandals, do not wear white knee socks.
Swipe Card
Posted By: Adult Jokster - More Jokes like this: Men Jokes
Three men walked into a strip bar, the first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of a strippers butt.
The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt.
The third guy takes out a credit card, swipes it through the stripper's butt and takes the 200 bucks.
The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt.
The third guy takes out a credit card, swipes it through the stripper's butt and takes the 200 bucks.